The Optimistic Family

When I told my family about how Taka dumped me....well, each and everyone of them said "I'm sure you guys can work this out."

I'm not even kidding you.

In America, if you tell your friend that a friend dumped you, they say "It's time to move on."

I'm not sure how to take this news.

I asked if we could meet  to talk, and he said yes! After my trip to Pakistan that is. I don't know how he'll feel or what we'll talk about. But my brother said that as long as I can "keep it chill" then it may work.

My Dad confirmed..."Just don't get emotional! Show him your strong and you're worth it.  The fact that my dad actually liked the sound of one of my boyfriends it in of itself makes my jaw drop. "Would you like me to fly out and meet him?" He asks me, knowing that Taka and I are currently broken up...hang on, dad. Let me see if I can even get back together with him.

In my experience, if you are completely honest with the other person and also keep trying, the relationship will keep going. But just like the undead rising, the resulting creature is unpredictable and entirely different from what you started with.

In that moment of hoping and wanting, you are faced too with the truth of yourself. I remember, after begging my ex to get back together with me, he asked "Do you really think it will work?" and then I knew my tears and crying were for a lost dream, not a lost man. It was the death of the innocence of true love and your only one.

But with Taka....it was 6 months of no fights and joy. We never spent a day together that wasn't enjoyable until the week before he broke up with me. But it wasn't his fault, it was me. I usually sequester myself when I have PMS, but this week we had a trip planned, and so we needed to go. And we got into a fight. And then...it was over.

I mean, I know....some people talk to their partners about their behavior rather than just assuming the worst and bailing. But...enough people have told me that I need to work on the hyper emotions that it doens't even matter. It's my fault because I know I have a problem and I know I have to fix it. Fin.

Anyway, I am hoping for the best for the conversation Taka and I will have next week. I also have been trying to mentally prepare for if he decides to bail:

I text him "I'm back in town." Only that to test if he even wants to meet. A day goes by and no reply. No reply the next. Day after day after day. What will I text him next? "We're still meeting up, right?" How far will it go. I need to promise myself that  if after I ask to meet with him and he doesn't reply, that it's over. IT'S OVER. PLEASE PROMISE ME.

I promise, Nisha. I promise.